About Annette Ansell

Annette Ansell Helping you create a better future for yourself I am a Client-Centred counsellor/psychotherapist with 18 years experience of working with individuals and couples. I work from my consulting rooms in Fleet Street, EC4, within The City of London, near the Royal Courts of Justice, the Old Bailey and financial hub of London. I also have a private practice in Hook Norton, Oxfordshire. Pic believe that we are all unique and therefore the only real experts on ourselves. I believe we can all be trusted to find our own way through our problems, anxieties and life crises if we are listened to empathically, non-judgementally, with a non-directive approach and willingness from the therapist to put herself fully into attempting to understand and empathise with what our situations are like for us, and what our individual meanings and experiences truly are. The power of witnessing someone's story should never to be underestimated.

Dementia Care

In the synchronistic way that things often happen it has come to my attention recently that when one gets to ‘a certain age’ one is sometimes challenged by meeting, living with, caring for or in other ways needing to relate to someone with dementia.
About 18 months ago I had occasion to need some help with a relative and found a wonderful book by Bernie McCarthy, “Hearing the Person with Dementia – A Person-Centred Approach to Communication for Families and Caregivers”.
If you find yourself in this position I can strongly recommend this book; it is full of useful, enlightening information about how the brain works, or not, in the person with dementia. Bernie’s talks about what to expect in terms of behaviour and mental health states, and how to deal with that as and when it arises. Also, about how to respect the person with dementia when it comes to more practical self-care tasks like bathing and toileting. There is also lots of self-help advice and tips about caring for the carer (you!), finding and valuing your limitations, and working within them for your own sake and that of other family members and friends.
I hope you find the book as useful as I did.
Warm regards,
Annette

The Importance of Positive Attitude

The more I work at counselling people, and supervising other counsellors, the more I am passionate about getting the message across about the importance of attitude; not just attitude to others but attitude to self. It is our attitude to ourselves that we are likely to project onto others; if we believe ourselves to be useless, or boring, then we are going to expect that other people will have ‘noticed’ that, and we will expect unfavourable treatment from them accordingly. We then have to behave in yams that either defend ourselves from perceived, or expected, attack, or we behave in ways that over-compensate and end up people-pleasing in an (often) vain attempt at impressing others, or at least avoiding what we believe will be their disparaging remarks. Talking things over over with a therapist can help us explore our self-limiting beliefs and lead to insights that help live a more fulfilling and joyful life.

On Failure

I have a number of clients who seek me out because they feel like failures; they don’t have all the things they believe they ‘should’ have by a certain age. I like John Ortberg’s quote on this subject:

“Failure is not an event, but rather a judgement about an event. Failure is not something that happens to us, or a label we attach to things. It is a way we think about outcomes.
Failure is an indispensable, irreplaceable part of learning and growth. Here is the principle involved: Failure does not shape you; the way you respond to failure shapes you”.

It is that response to failure, or perceived failure, that clients can work through in therapy.

Welcome to the Discover Your Self Blog

Welcome to my blog. People often ask me what I do, and, when they get my answer, assume that it must be a very distressing job. I love my work because I get to be someone who sees how people change, become more confident, develop self-esteem and resolve difficult and painful problems or situations in their lives, or come to terms with significant loss. I always feel excited and immensely privileged to be a part of that, so, no, I don’t find my work distressing, even as I empathise and feel with those who are struggling to find their way out of distressing situations.

I set up this blog so I can keep people informed about what is going on in the world of personal therapy and self development. I aim to share insights without disclosing confidences, to share new information, strategies and maybe even techniques for combating difficult people and situations.

I invite you to share too, if you have questions, experiences and strategies that have helped you move forward in your life. I will offer book reviews, a synopsis or two about recent articles in relevant press and journals. If there is anything else you would like to see here please feel free to ask. I, and I’m sure others, would love to hear from you.

Warm regards
Annette Ansell