I have a number of clients who seek me out because they feel like failures; they don’t have all the things they believe they ‘should’ have by a certain age. I like John Ortberg’s quote on this subject:
“Failure is not an event, but rather a judgement about an event. Failure is not something that happens to us, or a label we attach to things. It is a way we think about outcomes.
Failure is an indispensable, irreplaceable part of learning and growth. Here is the principle involved: Failure does not shape you; the way you respond to failure shapes you”.
It is that response to failure, or perceived failure, that clients can work through in therapy.